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South Park: Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina

This is probably one of the grossest moments in comedy for a trans woman. It’s not just an episode of some stupid comedy show, it’s an attempt at an argument against our validity. Made by people who, despite doing all of their research on any topic they undertake within their own asses, have an inexplicable amount of influence on the opinions of people. 

It’s the source of what I call the Dolphin Argument.

I should also note, that it’s probable that Mr. Garrison doesn’t actually get SRS because he’s transgender, but because of his internalized homophobia. That doesn’t clear the episode, however, because it’s trying to make the case that this is why all transgender people transition. 

Anyway, because of this and the fact that the current version of Mr. Garrison is a man, I’ll be gendering him as such. If this is a problem, I guess let me know. I’m not really sure what the right answer is here.

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The episode opens by trying to gross you out with a dose of real life SRS footage. It does this to make trans people seem disgusting and unnatural.

After his operation, Mr. Garrison becomes a complete stereotype of a woman, fawning over tampons, anticipating his first period, wanting to watch a sad movie, and getting excited because he’s sitting down to pee. Much to the discomfort of what the show intends to be ‘real’ women.  

Earlier in the episode, we found out that Kyle wants to play basketball, but is lead to believe that his being short, white, and jewish is an obstacle to that. After seeing post-SRS Garrison and learning about transgender people, he decides to get surgery to make him appear to be a black kid.

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Garrison returns home to his boyfriend, Mr. Slave, (Jesus, this show is stupid), who is understandably upset that Garrison had the operation without talking about it with him first (this is a possible thing in a completely ignorant person’s imagination). Mr. Slave reminds Mr. Garrison that he’s gay and isn’t interested in vaginas. Garrison tells Mr. Slave to stop being gay so they can be together, and Mr. Slave replies, “but you’re gay too!” Mr. Garrison then shouts, “I’m not gay, I’m a woman!” (Remember, this is for laughs. Don’t cheer, that’s a punchline.)

Kyle’s father, angry about his son’s desire for a “negroplasty”, goes to the surgeon’s office to threaten to sue him. Instead, he gets convinced to have surgery to make him resemble a dolphin.

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"All I did, is change my appearance to look the way I felt, here."  *clutches heart*

The show is making the argument that a trans woman wanting SRS is the same as a white man wanting to be a black man, or a moron wanting to be a dolphin. Trey Parker and Matt Stone think this is a clever thing to do. There are people who think this is a good point. When the end of the world is imminent, remember that when you consider whether or not humanity is really worth saving.

NSFW content below the cut. It’s nothing that wasn’t aired uncensored on TV, but it might not be appropriate at all places.

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Mr. Garrison shows his breasts to a Girls Gone Wild crew. The breasts look abnormally fake and aren’t covered with the same “real girls” starburst that had covered the other women’s breasts. 

Later, Garrison erroneously believes himself to be pregnant because he hasn’t had a period yet. And cheerfully decides to get an abortion.

When told he can’t have an abortion, he declares that no one can tell him what he can and can’t do with his body, and that “a woman has the right to choose” while throwing his arm around the visibly uncomfortable lady nurse.

The abortion doctor explains to Garrison why an abortion would be impossible for him, and he reacts:

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"but I paid $5,000 to be a woman…"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! $5,000!? OH MY GOD, THAT’S SO RICH! 

"…this would mean I’m not really a woman, I’m just a guy with a mutilated penis."

Mr. Garrison then returns to the surgeon to demand he return his genitals to normal. The trans man on the operating table sits up to ask if he’s “a man, yet.” (Look, trans dudes! You guys get some of the hate, too!)

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Kyle’s dad later asks for special seating and bathrooms for dolphins.When he finds out that there are none, he threatens legal action.

Mr. Garrison does the ~oh-so-original~ joke wherein a trans woman or a man in drag is still super strong by punching out a ticket taker.

After Kyle and his dad decide to return to normal, Mr. Garrison declares that, “even though [he’s] not truly a woman,” that he’d “rather be a woman who can’t have periods than a fag.” He then runs off to apparently get his “vag” “pounded”.

South Park, S09e01: Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina
March 9, 2005

  1. hannah-the-montana reblogged this from badtransjokes
  2. princesspichu reblogged this from badtransjokes
  3. sparklyglitterbomb reblogged this from badtransjokes and added:
    this accurately sums up my disgust
  4. thedarksoulsofpersona reblogged this from badtransjokes and added:
    You really do not understand Mr.Garrison’s character, do you? He shows an extreme side of LBGT people that don’t...
  5. theniwasashley reblogged this from chiakifoil and added:
    South Park has been and will always be an ignorant shit pile
  6. chiakifoil reblogged this from badtransjokes and added:
    i used to look up to matt and trey as ~good ppl~ and ~GR8 ROLE MODELS~ before i saw this post and remembered this...
  7. literally-defective reblogged this from badtransjokes
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  14. missveritan reblogged this from badtransjokes and added:
    I remember seeing this when I was in middle school and just crying afterwards for hours
  15. a-quite-content-thing reblogged this from spunkyassistant
  16. bibblord reblogged this from badtransjokes and added:
    i hope the south park men get tortured
  17. spunkyassistant reblogged this from minervose
  18. minervose reblogged this from badtransjokes